Lazy Summertime Thoughts

I wonder if the hot, humid, lazy weather has anything to do with my lack of creativity as of late.
I can think of little to write about, but here goes.

I spend every Friday with my kids floating in our friends’ pool, being scorched by the sun.
I always tell people I should have been born with red hair. I wish I had red hair. I can’t tell you how often I’ve dyed it varying shades of red. I’ve tried auburn, dark red, strawberry blonde, light reddish orange, etc. I hope that one time it will actually start growing in red, but of course it never does.

I burn like a red-head.
I can’t tan to save my life. Seriously.
Some girls talk about their lack of tans as a form of false modesty. Oh-ho, not I! My legs are ghostly white. My arms and face, freckled.
I burn, I peel, I freckle.
I burn, I peel, I freckle.
I’ve never even been mildly tan in my life and it was the cause of great angst as a teen. I hated my body. I thought I had a pretty face and a nice thin frame, but if only I could tan, then I would feel great about myself.
There are so many if only’s in life, and once one of them is fulfilled, it leads to another.
I have honestly worn shorts less than 10 times in my life. I’ve only ever owned two pairs. I don’t wear shorts now because I’m actually just as comfortable in pants.
Plus it saves me the trouble of shaving my legs, except on Saturdays before church.
Yeah, you probably didn’t wanna know that.

Anyway, the great thing in writing about this, is that I’m looking back on what was. Not what is.
When some friends invited me and the kiddos to a weekly swimming get together, I agreed, and the thought of embarrassment because of my pale skin never crossed my mind.
You must be thinking that I either look better now than I did, or I just don’t care anymore. It’s the latter. I mean, not only am I still white as a sheet, I’ve now got stretch marks and dimpling on my thighs, am 20 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, and have a swim suit I squeeze into that’s two years old. But I don’t care that I don’t look the way I want too. I figure those who would judge me harshly on my appearance are people I wouldn’t want as friends anyway.
And I’ve learned over the years, as has been said by so many people, so many times before, that who you are is so much more important than what you look like. Inner peace and confidence can enhance outward features. It makes beautiful what might otherwise seem plain or ugly. I hope to radiate confidence and happiness. I hope that is what people see when they see me floating there in the pool (assuming they haven’t been blinded by my whiteness and can see anything at all).

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July 13, 2007 | Filed Under Humor, Random

Comments

One Response to “Lazy Summertime Thoughts”

Susan M on July 16th, 2007 5:26 pm

Great post. I think one of the benefits of aging is becoming more comfortable in your own skin.

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