One of Each
I have many reasons for staying at home with my kids. When I say “at home” I don’t just mean the fact that I do not work. I mean staying inside. There are days, many days, that I do not want to leave the house with three children. But I strongly believe children need plenty of sunshine and outdoor play time and since we are apartment dwellers without a yard, I must take them out to play. Playtime is the least of my troubles.
Trying to shop with three children? That’s a whole other ball game. I only go to stores that have the giant carts with buckled seats for two toddlers and a place on the cart to put a car seat. Even in these carts, shopping can get harry. But I do it because … well…actually I’m not sure why I put myself through the madness. I hate going out late at night for one thing and of course I often get frustrated at those bold enough to make comments about my misbehaving children.
But more than that, I am frustrated with the reaction people often have to my having 3 children in the first place.
Whenever I go somewhere it is almost inevitable to get one of the following comments:
“Are they all yours?” - This surprises me I guess because I come from a family of five and my husband from a family of 13. Three doesn’t seem like that many kids to me
“You have your hands full, you’re done right?” - Again a comment along the lines of 3 being a lot and surely you don’t want any more children do you?
“Oh, well you’ve got one of each, now you can be done.” This one I think bothers me most. I didn’t just have my second son because we were trying for a girl. Am I happy I got a little girl the third time around? Sure, but I would have loved another boy just as much.
What these comments say to me: Children are such a hardship, don’t have anymore than you have to, especially if you’ve already got one of each.
Most of my days are busy and messy and exhausting. My hands are full, but so is my heart. Children are beautiful, innocent angels, still so close to God. The love and joy they bring me far outweighs the amount of time and work I must put into teaching them.
Don’t tell me that they are a hardship, or that I should only have them until I get the gender I want. You disrespect them by so saying.
I am so thankful for the sacred gift of my little ones. I hope those who think otherwise are far and few between.
EDWARD YOUR A HAMSOME GUY ALL IM ASKING IS FOR BELLA TO HAVE THE BABY AND PUT...
What a sweet post. And what a great mom you are. And oh, by the way, I LOVE your quote about evolution. So true!!
That’s nice of you to say. Believe me, I have my off days but I keep trying.
I am so relieved to hear someone talking about this! I can not believe how many strangers dare to come up to me and make comments. They are always negative, just like you were saying. Such as “Are you done yet? or (this is my favorite) “If I were you I would curl up in a ball and drink”. Some days, these comments are more frustrating than when you are trying to wrangle 3 little ones into 1 shopping cart. I am right there with you on this one!!
I have two children, “one of each” and I too, am surprised at the number of people that not only point it out (as if I’ve met some quota), but imply that since I have my little set, I must, should, obviously, be done having children. My favorite question is: “So are you going to have more?” Now, I don’t mind this from friends, who care and want to be supportive, but from my husband’s colleague’s girlfriend, whom I just met about 10 minutes ago? I don’t think so. Maybe I’ll start answering back, “I see you have two arms there, one of each, are you going to have more? (hands full comment is optional).
Hey kelibbysmom,
I got your email!! Sorry I hadn’t written you back yet.
I had no idea you were you till you told me so. Lol
(obviously I don’t know if you want me to use your actual name in this response)
Thanks for visiting, it’s fun to have people actual read and comment on what I’m writing. I’ll send you an email here soon.
I have two boys and a daughter also. I’ve heard the, “You’ve got your hands full,” comment a gazillion times. My best comeback is, “Full of joy!”
Keep taking them out. I always do, even though they’re bigger and harder to corral at times now. I find those outings make our relationship even better. Plus, the walls of home seem to close in otherwise.
I have a friend with six kids who got really fed up with those insensitive comments about population growth from complete strangers in public places. She finally came up with a standard reply. When someone in a grocery store asked her point blank “hey lady, haven’t you ever heard of family planning?” she just smiled broadly and said “Oh yes, but I’m only half way through my plan!”
I LOVED that response right before mine about the six kids, seeing as my sis-in-law and bro are expecting number 7 in July! Although none of these questions tend to bother them. I guess the part of their personality that allows it to just roll right off of them is the same part that allows them to raise six kids (the oldest is 10) and not go insane.
Better them than us! Although someone else may be offended by that remark. Oops!
Loved this post, particularly as a mother of “one of each.”
okay…so I know this is an old post, but I had to share a grocery store moment - When the young male grocery checker noticed my two children, ages 6 and 3 and commented, “You have your hands full” I looked at my two sweet children who had patiently sat in and followed the cart through a busy grocery store, and said “They are wonderful…good kids.” As I was leaving the store, I teared up a little because I realized what I had said was true. Thanks for the post, it made me a little more mindful of my “little” blessings, each of them.
Okay, I am really considering a blog, but I may steal some of my comments back from your blog. Is that okay? I’m still blog-impaired.