The not so nice Mama

“Go and play your video game,” says Nice Mama to her sons. “I’m going to clean your room for you today.”

“Oh cool! Thanks,” says one son, giving mama a hug, “You’re a nice Mama.”

What he doesn’t realize is that Nice Mama, is really, Mama with Ulterior Motive, in disguise. She smiles as she sends them on their merry way, 13 gallon trash bag clenched in the fist behind her back. She walks backwards down the hall, into their bedroom and bolts the door.

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

The day of reckoning has come. Toys used only for mess making are tossed into lightly scented plastic oblivion. Perhaps other little boys will actually play with them.
A knock on the door causes Mama with Ulterior Motive to pause.

“Mama, whats dat sound?” boy says

“Drat!! He’s onto me!” she thinks.

Gathering her thoughts she replies, “I’m just putting some trash in a trash bag.”
She struggles to sound reassuring. She knows the boys will never miss these particular toys, but if they discover her plans there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth!

“You’re not trashing my toys right?” says five year old boy.

How in the flippin’ heck does he sense these things?

“No, not trashing them,” she says, putting perhaps too much emphasis on the word trashing.

“Go back and play your game now honey,” she instructs.

Five year old leaves. In a whirlwind effort, the remaining offending toys are added to the bag. Mama with Ulterior Motive slowly opens the bedroom door, peeks out, and seeing that the coast is clear, books it into her bedroom where she promptly stashes said bag of toys high in the closet. Daddy will take them to the car after bedtime.

Straightening her shirt and wiping the slight perspiration from her brow, Mama with Ulterior Motive smiles. She walks toward the living room, a slight spring in her step.

Mission accomplished.

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September 4, 2007 | Filed Under Humor, Motherhood | 17 Comments 

I miss you Steve-O!

Today marks the one year anniversary of the death of Steve Irwin, also known as The Crocodile Hunter. I never knew him personally, but was so devastated upon hearing of his death one year ago.

I remember Hubby waking me up very gently and saying, ” Honey, someone on TV has died.” He looked very concerned for me, and I couldn’t for the life of me think why he would be.

“Why do you look so worried? Who would I be so sad about someone on TV?” My mind was still foggy and I couldn’t think of anyone.

“Steve Irwin is dead.” he said

I remembering smiling and saying, “Yeah, right.” But Hubby’s facial expression didn’t change.

Suddenly I realized he meant it and my heart dropped. I threw off the covers and ran into the living room to turn on the news.
There it was. Steve was dead. Dead in the most unfair way. I thought he should have at least been killed by a crocodile. But no, some freak accident with a sting ray. It just wasn’t right that he was dead. Or that he died in that way. That’s when I started crying, and I didn’t stop for most of three days. I waited for more details, searched the internet for news of how Terri and the kids were doing. I sobbed through TV specials and commercial dedications on Animal Planet. I was a complete wreck.

Now, I was 2 months pregnant at the time, so that of course contributed to my extremely emotional state. But even if I hadn’t been in hormone overload, I still would have cried and mourned the passing of this truly unique individual. He lived a passionate life, full of adventure and love and gratitude. He set a great example of taking care of the wildlife on our planet and most of all, he made me laugh. I had been watching his shows since I was 15 and I was a fan of his enthusiasm, catch phrases and dedication to his job and family. I know it may sound silly but I honestly dreamt of visiting the Australia Zoo and meeting him one day. We all have someone we want to meet for whatever reasons, and Steve was that someone for me. I miss you Steve-O!

Steve Irwin Links:

Stingray kills ‘Crocodile Hunter’

Australia Zoo - Home of the Crocodile Hunter

Fans asked to wear khaki on Steve Irwin day

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September 4, 2007 | Filed Under Friends, Random | 2 Comments