Words of Wisdom

* Never scratch the corner of your eye with a pinkie fingernail before you’ve washed your hands of the buffalo wings you’ve just eaten.

* The 5 year old is always right. When he sings the Ninja Turtle theme song saying “they’re the world’s most handsome fighting team”, don’t correct him. The ensuing battle of wills over the correct lyrics just isn’t worth it.

* Don’t try to have a picnic by the lake if the 4 year old is afraid of bugs. He will run around screaming “BEE!!!!” at everything that moves, and smash your sandwiches in a mad dash to throw himself into the safety of your arms

* Never read a post like this or this or this while eating corn. Inhalation of a kernel due to laughter may cause tears and coughing severe enough to make you upchuck the corn you ate previous.

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September 6, 2007 | Filed Under Humor | 2 Comments 

When I take the day off

Items currently residing on the main living area floor of our apartment:

Legos, die cast cars, pajamas, socks, an empty box of wheat thins, crushed wheat thins, cheerios, fruity pebbles, sandals, crushed tortilla chips, sticky sucked on and spit out fruit snacks, towels, blankies, couch pillows, paper plates and one wrapped up diaper.

Items currently littering the table top:

School binders, paper plates, empty fruit snack wrappers, honey, one jar of peanut butter, dried out playdough, a cd player, a stuffed alligator, day old fried eggs that Obi-Wan refused to eat

Items littering the kitchen counter:

Dirty dishes, paper cups, an empty can of SPAM, baby wipes, a few pieces of stale bread, an empty bottle of Dr. Pepper, more empty fruit snack wrappers, more toys, strawberry heads and empty yogurt cups

So, if you were feeling bad about your housekeeping, I hope I just brightened your day!

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September 6, 2007 | Filed Under Motherhood | 9 Comments