The not so nice Mama
“Go and play your video game,” says Nice Mama to her sons. “I’m going to clean your room for you today.”
“Oh cool! Thanks,” says one son, giving mama a hug, “You’re a nice Mama.”
What he doesn’t realize is that Nice Mama, is really, Mama with Ulterior Motive, in disguise. She smiles as she sends them on their merry way, 13 gallon trash bag clenched in the fist behind her back. She walks backwards down the hall, into their bedroom and bolts the door.
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
The day of reckoning has come. Toys used only for mess making are tossed into lightly scented plastic oblivion. Perhaps other little boys will actually play with them.
A knock on the door causes Mama with Ulterior Motive to pause.
“Mama, whats dat sound?” boy says
“Drat!! He’s onto me!” she thinks.
Gathering her thoughts she replies, “I’m just putting some trash in a trash bag.”
She struggles to sound reassuring. She knows the boys will never miss these particular toys, but if they discover her plans there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth!
“You’re not trashing my toys right?” says five year old boy.
How in the flippin’ heck does he sense these things?
“No, not trashing them,” she says, putting perhaps too much emphasis on the word trashing.
“Go back and play your game now honey,” she instructs.
Five year old leaves. In a whirlwind effort, the remaining offending toys are added to the bag. Mama with Ulterior Motive slowly opens the bedroom door, peeks out, and seeing that the coast is clear, books it into her bedroom where she promptly stashes said bag of toys high in the closet. Daddy will take them to the car after bedtime.
Straightening her shirt and wiping the slight perspiration from her brow, Mama with Ulterior Motive smiles. She walks toward the living room, a slight spring in her step.
Mission accomplished.
Comments
17 Responses to “The not so nice Mama”
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How true! Silly me I’ve been trying to do this with my kids in the room all this time…
Oh yes, this sounds familiar! I try to whittle away at the toys they neither need, play with or which are too many pieces when I stop home at lunch sometimes - and the girls are at daycare. They never even miss anything!
Wonderful post! :)
You’re braver than I am! I did this just once. And I forgot one little piece of a toy. Of course my son found that ONE piece later and freaked out when he realized the rest of the toy was gone. Ever since then, he reminds me that I cannot throw away his toys. So, now we do it together and both my boys pick toys that they can give to other little boys. I’d love to still do it your way!
Holly,
You know I tried that once. Hoping an appeal for sad, toyless, little boys might convince them to willingly hand over their unloved toys. But nope! :)
I’ll try it again when their older because it certainly would be a great opportunity to teach them about service.
I would give ANYTHING for you to come to my house and take the trash bag to our playroom. I keep convincing myself if I throw something away, I’ll miss it. Because, ya know, why wouldn’t we miss the week-old goldfish on the floor???
It’s so freeing isn’t it - now that mine is in Kindergarten, I did the BIG BIG clean - and he didn’t even notice - thank goodness I didn’t have to explain why the piles and piles of “crafts” were missing.
I found you through the LDS women’s blog list :)
Lovin your post! I laughed because we have had similar experiences in our home. This is what we do now: for every toy they give away, they get a nickel. The more they give away, the more money they get! Also, right before Christmas we give toys away so that those in need will get something and to make room for the stuff Santa might bring…
I really need to do something like that. The toys are taking over every square inch of this house! Can the Not So Nice Mama come over to help?
You are a naughty mommy. My daughter has some freakish sixth sense about such things. A toy she hasn’t played with since she was 10 months old will suddenly become the one thing in the world she must have moments after I steathily sneak it into the garage sale pile. I can’t get anything past her.
We were just discussing how to carry out this very operation in our playroom. Good idea!!!
Ah hahahahaha…. hahahah….. ah, so funny and so how it is! I’ve resorted to sneaking one toy out a day at a time…
You brilliant, brilliant woman you!
[...] Sep 5th, 2007 by brambledoula http://summersnook.com/2007/09/04/the-not-so-nice-mama/ [...]
Do you have any suggestions on how to get the really big toys out without them seeing them? I am trying to figure that one out. Last time I tried to bring them out, the sneakies brought them in from the garage while only Daddy was home with them. They know how he can be a pushover with these things :)
How funny. Love the evil laugh!! We did this for all those toys from happy meals…………..after the kid is 6-7 they don’t really want that toy…..
I know this is horrible, but I always clean out the kids room when I am taking a “sick day” from church.
Came over via sk*rt
I do this all the time, but a bit differently. I am even more not so nice. I have six children and for years have only thrown out the broken toys, cycling the not-used-now-toys to the top of the closet or the Rubbermaid boxes for the next child when age matches toys and skills. Now that I am done with the babies (although the last is only 9 months old). I find myself even more readily throwing things out, giving away, instead of saving them for the next child so I don’t spend the money on it again. I have always had one rule about toys that never waivers - you leave it out, it goes bye-bye. I give my children a warning that they left their toys out and they need to be picked up. If the terrible tornado hit when I wasn’t looking then they are given a time limit to clean. If the time limit was manipulated by crying, screaming, and gnashing of teeth to the point that nothing got done, then I cleaned up “My Way”, with a trash bag. If the time limit was taken seriously and used fervently and with great effort and they needed more time, they got it.
Lately, with all the toy recalls, I sat them down, the children not the toys, and decided they were doing it this time. After 12 years of parenting I realized I had gotten mushy with the long lashes and the big sad eyes and the grandparents manipulative efforts. No More I say! This was my big break, my time to return to a world of simpler times. We are pitching lots of stuff. What doesn’t need to be destroyed will get delivered to the thrift store and the children will help. The new, additional rule: with the exception of books and some old classic toys, for each new toy they beg for, they must give away a toy.