Win a Pink Dyson!
I’ve entered every Pink Dyson Vacuum giveaway I’ve known about but no luck yet. I so wish I could afford one of these supposedly awesome vacuums, but until that day or if that day comes I’ll keep trying to win one. Find out about the latest Pink Dyson giveaway by clicking on the graphic above. Good luck, but really, I hope it’s me that wins! =P
Go vote!
Vote for me! Voting began today for Karen’s Photo Contest. There are plenty of great entries, but really, are they cooler than this?
Well, don’t answer that. Just go vote for the one you think is best. And I wouldn’t mind if you thought that was mine. =)
Oh and a funny story for you. Today Hubby was talking to Angel Girl while holding her in the air. I was blogging when I heard him say, “Uh oh.” I turned around and he was holding Angel Girl away from him and said, “I felt something rumbling in her tummy and was worried.” He began holding her above him again talking to her and added, “I thought she was going to…”
BLECH!
Chunky looking spit up suddenly covered his chin. It was a hairs length away from his lips. Count Dooku and I were laughing so hard. Daddy spoke too soon.
By the way, have you entered my Infant Snap Clips Giveaway yet?
Debbie Downer
Have you ever avoided posting personal content on your blog because you thought you might sound like something of a downer?
That would be me this week. I can’t pin down any exact causes, it just seems to be everything and I’ve avoided posting anything about it, because I didn’t want to scare anyone off with a doom and gloom attitude. But Kailani asked a question for her Aloha Friday meme today that really got me thinking. She asked, Why do you blog? I put down something about a means of communication with the outside world or some such. But as I gave it more thought I realized I started blogging mainly just to say what I wanted to say. To feel there was place outside of my own home where I could truly be me. And to find clarity on different things I was thinking about. You see, writing allows me to really understand myself. As I write down my ideas and feelings, I understand them more. Sometimes I don’t know what’s bothering me until I start writing and then it comes out.
Ah, so that’s why I feel like hiding from everyone. How stupid!
And then I feel better because I know what’s going on and I can fix it or change my attitude.
But lately I haven’t even been honest in my blogging or willing to use it the way I originally intended. I’ve found I’ve been hiding from myself, and just now as I’m writing this I figured out what’s going on.
If you’ve read my blog for long you know that I struggle with, oh, let’s see, depression, anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder. The OCD is the main offender and the depression and anxiety usually stem from that. OCD takes many different, ugly forms, and I won’t go into details on how mine works, but when it’s at it’s worst I really would rather lay down and die than try to live with it anymore. Yes, I said live with it.
For so long, it was so natural to try to fight it, and yet fighting seemed to make it worse. I didn’t even know just what I was fighting until I was diagnosed and then I was told that I couldn’t fight it. That it was like some sexual predator, thriving off of every grab and yank. The more I fought, the more I fed it. I had to learn to accept it and then put it aside as a false threat. But the threat feels so real. When it’s at it’s worst I feel like I am desperately clinging to hope, to my beliefs, to my faith that I am a child of God and a good, sound human being. Feelings, even when we know they are false, are so difficult to ignore. But I have to do it during panic attacks and when the OCD rears it’s ugly head or I find my mind spinning out of control with terror and despair.
Then of course there is my unwillingness to accept the problem in the first place. Not only do I have to agree with the devil while in the way with him, I have to admit that I’m dealing with the awful disease in the first place. I want to think that every time I get a break from it, it’s gone for good. I don’t want to accept that it is slowly making it’s way back into my head, and when I don’t, it usually culminates into a melt down. Me ignoring what’s going on until it’s so bad it all falls on me at once and I’m left sobbing and praying for deliverance.
I know that without this God forsaken illness I might not be able to feel the kind of empathy I do for others, I might not be as accepting or understanding of the strange things people do, I might not have such a wild and crazy imagination. I know that without this illness I wouldn’t be who I am today, and as much as I hate this illness, I sort of like, me. So no, I would never change the fact that I’ve dealt with this since I was twelve. But if I could just up and get rid of it at this point, I would. Until it retreats into the shadows for an unknown amount of time again, I’m glad I wrote this and figured out that it’s bothering me again and I’ve just been pushing it aside. Now to willingly accept it and live happily along side it. Easier said than done.
Pizza Pizza!
Alright, simple question here: What’s your favorite pizza?
I like a Papa Johns thick crust pizza topped with pepperoni, mushrooms and green peppers.
A word or two
I have found myself rather busy lately, but it’s for a great reason. I recently got a blogging job for LDSBlogs.com. I set my own hours, work at home and write about my favorite subject in the universe, Genealogy! The site launched a little over a week ago. It’s main purpose is to create more understanding about Mormons and our beliefs. My area of the site will mainly be filled with genealogy how to’s and resources. I already have around nine posts up if you want to take a look.
So if I’m not as good at commenting on all of your blogs in the next little while, please don’t take it personally. I’ll still be reading, I just may not have time to comment between posting here and over there, but I’ll try.
How nice!
Amanda has given me the Community Blogger Award
“This award celebrates people who reach out and make the blogger community a better one.”
Thanks Amanda! I’m going to give this to Deb who I think fits the description above perfectly. On the blogs we both visit she’s always one of the first to comment and offer support. I’ve also been amazed at how much she gets around. On almost every new blog I’ve found I’ve also seen comments from Deb, having had no idea she was already a reader there. I hope you enjoy the award Deb!
By the way, have you entered my Infant Snap Clip Giveaway?
Dead Man Rising
Karen writes: “Can you smell it? The crisp, clean air of Fall? Show us some pictures of the kids jumping in a pile of leaves. Do you have any pictures of the family carving a Jack ‘O Lantern? What about simply being outside and enjoying the cooler weather? Do you go to craft fairs? Let’s see a picture of the goodies you bought! Do you have a Fall family tradition? Share it with us!”
Those who read my blog know that to me, fall means pretty much one thing, Halloween. Four years ago and two years after I had started teaching myself to cake decorate, I started a Fall tradition of sorts. That of making a fun Halloween cake. So I present for the photo contest, my favorite Halloween cake that I’ve made (idea from a Wilton yearbook):
You can view other cakes I’ve made by clicking on the gallery at the bottom of this page.
By the way, have you entered my Infant Snap Clips Giveaway yet?
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