My ego thanks you

So the day after I wrote the Edward and Bella post a well read livejournal user found it and linked to it. Thus began a series of off-site links to my post and conversation on all of those threads as well, with overwhelming positive response and agreement to what I had posted.

I read each comment on each and every one of these threads, my mouth salivating in anticipation of the next compliment. I turned to my husband time and again saying, “Oh, listen to this one.” One comment that still makes me laugh when I think about it went something like this, “Dude, that essay is so bamf.”

Yes, I had to look up what bamf meant. But despite the colorful language involved, I was thrilled this person had said that of my post. My ego has been well fed over the last two days.

And it made me realize what I haven’t been willing to admit.

I don’t just write this blog for myself. On occasion, I do. But a lot of the time I write things with readers in mind. I crave comments. I thrive on comments. I love it when you love what I’ve written. It makes me feel liked. Feeling liked is a happy thing. Liking myself is a happy thing. But not when I depend so much on you for validation of it.

Perhaps I’m more like Bella than I’d like to think.

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January 24, 2008 | Filed Under Random | 9 Comments