Exhale

There are moments when a flood of memories rushes through your mind.

In the span of a single breath, your pulse quickens, your eyes stare blankly, and the pain or joy of many moments plays across your face.

Then comes the exhalation. The recognition of who or what you are staring at that triggered those memories. The realization of the life you are living now. The immense gratitude or sorrow that things are not the way you thought they would be when you were living out those memories.

All this, in a single breath.

My baby was the trigger and my reaction was joy. She is my miracle. She was only a shadow of a dream in my thoughts two years ago as I struggled with the effects of a medicine interaction gone terribly awry. Today, in the span of one breath, I felt the despair and panic all over again and remembered knowing that my life would never be the same.

And it isn’t.

But not in the way I had anticipated.

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January 14th, 2008 in Family

Comments (16)

CorrieJanuary 14th, 2008 at 1:09 am

What a lovely thought - babies are wonderful that way.

ToniJanuary 14th, 2008 at 8:07 am

Aptly said….

KimberlyJanuary 14th, 2008 at 1:47 pm

Such intensity…I wish I could grasp that feeling right this moment, as my two girls battle it out over the toy kitchen gear. ~sigh~ Thank you, for the reminder of how much I love them.

CristyJanuary 14th, 2008 at 3:40 pm

Ah yes… the best part of babies are those tender moments when a woman’s heart can be touched so deeply.

KellanJanuary 14th, 2008 at 5:01 pm

Beautiful, Summer!

Thanks for coming over and leaving the well wishes - I am fine - only need to remember about that bra thing the next time I ever have to call 911. Hope to see you tomorrow. Kellan

McKennaJanuary 14th, 2008 at 6:43 pm

So true, that the the thoughts you can have during just one breath can take the next breath away from you. That sounded much more profound in my head than it does in writing LOL.

MelissaJanuary 14th, 2008 at 8:53 pm

I live for moments like that. They make all the other craziness worth it!

KristinJanuary 14th, 2008 at 9:32 pm

So true, so sweet. I love your writing!!!

Deb - Mom of 3 GirlsJanuary 15th, 2008 at 12:12 am

Oh Summer, that was just beautiful. Thank you for sharing it! :)

MeishaJanuary 15th, 2008 at 12:38 am

I have those moments too often. In fact the other day I had a dream that I was married to one of my ex-boyfriends. I woke up in a sweat and for just a split second I paniced, wondering how my life had gone so wrong. Then I looked over at Salvador sleeping and breathed a sigh of relief.

julie@lovelaughter&laundryJanuary 15th, 2008 at 2:21 am

I have those moments too. This was a beautiful post.

Mom 2 My 6 KidsJanuary 15th, 2008 at 4:04 pm

You have an amazing talent for writing. I always read your blogs and feel like I have just had my big thoughtful moment for the day. Seriously, I love reading your words. Thanks for sharing your talent with us! I can’t wait to read what you write next!

Pam BirchJanuary 15th, 2008 at 8:19 pm

I would love to share your writings with others. If I were to ever use you writings in a talk would I need to get your permission first? This is just beautiful and so true.

SummerJanuary 15th, 2008 at 8:41 pm

Sure Pam, just credit me is all.

JaniceNWJanuary 16th, 2008 at 12:01 am

It is such an awesome feeling, isn’t it? ;)

childlifeJanuary 17th, 2008 at 7:48 pm

Beautiful as always… see what I mean? : )

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