Forty Six

As a 17 year old teenager, I never would have predicted that by age 26 I would have been married 7 years and born 3 children. I would never have predicted that I wouldn’t have a college degree or that I wouldn’t be married to the boyfriend I had at that time.

My plans seemed so certain, and so unlike the way my life has turned out.

I always knew I would marry, but didn’t think I would be barely 19 when it happened.
I always knew I wanted to have babies, but didn’t anticipate the part where they grow up.
I always knew I would change both physically and emotionally, but I didn’t think it would be so hard.

When I think of my children I look forward to the next twenty years with joy. In addition to Mother, I might carry the titles of Mother-in-Law and Grandma when I’m forty six.

When I think of my husband I look forward to the next twenty years with joy. Each year I’ve been with this man, has been better than the last.

When I think of my Grandmother, I look forward to the next twenty years with hope and determination. If she has survived 50 years of panic attacks, then I can do it too. If she can call me in a pleasant mood while telling me that all of her hair has fallen out and that the chemotherapy makes her so ill she can’t move, then I can also choose to practice calm thoughts and hope in the face of darkness and pain.

There is much to fear, and much to hope for in the next twenty years. While I can’t choose what will come, I can choose how I will react to what comes. One thing is certain, all the good things I envision for myself in twenty years, can only be reached by taking one persevering step at a time.

This post inspired by Scribbit’s March Write-Away Contest

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March 17, 2008 | Filed Under Group Writing Projects

Comments

14 Responses to “Forty Six”

Holly on March 17th, 2008 11:10 pm

Beautiful post Summer! Well said.
Hillary on March 17th, 2008 11:31 pm

I love this post. It’s wonderful. Just like you.
aubrey on March 17th, 2008 11:55 pm

what an inspiring post. your grandma sounds like a strong woman, just like you!
Michelle at Scribbit on March 18th, 2008 12:03 am

It’s funny how you never realize the important crossroads of life when you’re there, it’s only from years of hindsight. Makes you wonder what crossroads you’ll be facing in the future.
Leslie on March 18th, 2008 4:12 am

Life is never what we planned, is it? I wrote about my plans and how my life really worked out here: http://youjustgottalaugh.blogspot.com/2008/02/why-i-dont-have-10-children.html

This was really a beautiful post. Best wishes to you and your grandma as you both face some tough challenges. I loved reading your post. It was beautifully written and I think showed many of us just how strong you are! (((Hugs)))
Melissa on March 18th, 2008 12:20 pm

What a wonderful post! You are such an amazing writer!!
Laurie on March 18th, 2008 12:26 pm

I always love to read your posts. You always inspire me and help me put things back into perspective. You have an amazing talent to write and connect with people. I hope that you continue to write both the good and the challenging in your life. You are touching so many peoples lives. Thank you!
Kimberly on March 18th, 2008 1:21 pm

So touching and powerful. You’re such an incredibly gifted writer.
Stacey@Look, Mom, Look! on March 18th, 2008 3:48 pm

Great Post Summer! I like that even though everyone faces different challenges, we all have surprises in life that will take us to unexpected places.
Deb - Mom of 3 Girls on March 18th, 2008 4:33 pm

This is just beautiful, Summer.
McKenna on March 19th, 2008 1:26 am

Oh, I just heart you.
Robin on March 19th, 2008 5:33 am

I like your attitude. All the best to you and your grandmother as you face the challenges and enjoy the good days to come.
childlife on March 20th, 2008 12:55 am

Beautifully written, Summer… One step at a time. That, I think, is the best way to look at life. And I look forward to reading along :)
Liza on March 20th, 2008 6:44 pm

I love tis post. Some of the things you say ring very true with myself as well. As another b-day rolls around (27 this time) I find myself doing the same thing as you…reminiscing over the past and thinking forward to the future. Thank you for the look into your soul.

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