Why?

To love someone deeply, is to risk heart ache of the deepest kind. Their hurts are yours.

I keep asking myself, why this person I love is still making such foolish decisions at this stage in their life. Why don’t they realize what destructive behavior they’re exhibiting? Why don’t they realize that their actions affect not only themselves, but those who care about them? Why is it so hard for this person to let go of these habits that have now landed them in jail?

I wanted to cry as I read the arrest detail, but no tears came. Only sorrow for poor decisions and some hope that maybe the first time in jail, will be impressionable enough to make it the last time.

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Comments (16)

MelissaApril 3rd, 2008 at 1:28 am

Dear friend - I had a brother who went through something that sounds similar to what you are describing. Jail did seem to knock some sense in him. I know how hard it is to watch and hold your breath as you wait for what will happen next. I hope that this person can get their life put back together. Don’t give up hope!

MeishaApril 3rd, 2008 at 2:14 am

That is terrible! Although I have a sneaking suspicion on who you’re referring to, expect a call from me soon. *hug*

ChaseApril 3rd, 2008 at 2:39 am

Dear Sister Summer,
I feel with you. It would be nice to see this person shape up because all the things this person is doing is just making them miserable. I see it every time I hang out or talk with them. I just don’t understand how he doesn’t see it. It’s really sad. I just hope they shape up.
I love you to the moon and back! Hope you’re doing good. I’ll talk to you later. :)

feenerApril 3rd, 2008 at 7:51 am

sorry to hear this. not sure if this is family or friend. i have seen many of my friend’s siblings continue to mess up. It seems like the hardest thing to watch.

CristyApril 3rd, 2008 at 10:23 am

Without knowing any details, I am so sorry! It really is hard when the people we love make bad decisions. You just want everyone to be happy!! It really is the hardest thing. XOXO

KellanApril 3rd, 2008 at 10:59 am

Oh, Summer - I am sorry this person you love is in trouble - it can be so hard. I will keep you and them in my thoughts and prayers. Take care - Kellan

AllysonApril 3rd, 2008 at 1:01 pm

I’m so sorry you have this to deal with, Summer. I have someone in my family who is that way, who has caused heartache for years now, and continues to do so, in spite of all efforts to help from family. I know that feeling of helplessness and heartache for someone you love in their times of trouble and pain, and sometimes stupidity and carelessness.

Hugs to you, and best wishes for all dealing with this.

JaniceNWApril 3rd, 2008 at 1:50 pm

Wow. I know how you feel. My boys are making very poor choices right now and my brothers all had rough times. It’s very hard to watch someone you love make mistakes. You have my empathy, my prayers and my support.

Hugs.

ChristineApril 3rd, 2008 at 3:18 pm

Summer I am sorry to hear this! I know how heart wrenching it is. We went through this in my family, and it’s almost as if the person is blind to everything and everyone around them except for what is in the corner of their mind that torments them. Right now on my husband’s side one of his aunts is going through this and we all just want to shake her and wake her up to what is going on around her and what is happening to her.

I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!
HUGS!

LeslieApril 3rd, 2008 at 4:41 pm

When I read this post my first thought was, “how heart-wrenching!” Sometimes I have to remind myself that we chose the plan of free agency.

Blessings….

julie@love,laughter&laundryApril 4th, 2008 at 1:31 am

I’m so sorry. At times it is so hard to love, it can hurt so much.

God Bless,
Julie

kailaniApril 4th, 2008 at 1:58 pm

I’m not sure what’s going on but I’m still very sorry for what you’re going through.

LizaApril 4th, 2008 at 3:10 pm

I know the thoughts that are going through your head right now. We went through this with my sister about two years ago. I thought for sure this was where she was going to turn around. Instead…dad bailed her out and she didn’t learn a thing…again. She was let off the hook and is still living “her” lifestyle. I love that girl to the moon and back and don’t know how I can help her. I guess, I can’t. Anyway, I will pray for you and yours. I can do that with a lot of empathy. :) Maybe some day we will be able to share our success stories with each other.

JustRandiApril 5th, 2008 at 11:05 am

It’s so difficult to watch people we love make their own bad choices. I’ve always said I’d rather be the person in pain, rather than the person watching.
I’m SO sorry.

KimberlyApril 6th, 2008 at 2:18 pm

Oh honey. I’m sorry. ~hugs~

loniApril 8th, 2008 at 5:40 pm

Woah, can I relate, and you know it. It’s hard to watch them do things that you know won’t make them happy. It hurts, but it helps to try and distance yourself from the hurt and focus on finding a way of showing or demonstrating your love to them despite. Anything contrary to that at this point is much of the time misconstrued and can put a wedge in the relationship.

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