Have you noticed?
I’ve been MIA for the past few days. A family member stopped by unexpectedly and brought with them a very stressful situation. Stress=can’t think. Can’t think=can’t blog. But now that family member is gone and things are getting back to normal, sort of. Except I can’t seem to shake this melancholy mood I’m in.
I got word on Sunday that my grandmother doesn’t want to fight anymore. She’s been battling cancer for a while now. I should have known something was up when she contacted me to see if she could fly me and Angel girl out for a visit. She hasn’t met her only great grand daughter yet. So with heavy hearts we’ll go with the realization that it will likely be for the last time. Maybe it’s good that I can start the grieving now. I don’t know. I just know that sometimes I’m fine and sometimes it hits me so hard I can’t keep back the tears. I love her. She has been a rock to her family and an unwavering example of faith and courage to me. I don’t want her to go yet but I take comfort that she’ll be rid of the crippling panic attacks she’s faced since she was 25, that she’ll be rid of a body that has been plagued by various cancers for most of 10 years. I take comfort knowing that soon she’ll be reunited with the 2 year old son that was taken from her 36 years ago. I’m happy for her when I think of those things. And I know that things will be ok. However they end, whenever they end I know that we’ll all get through it one step at a time.
P.S. I’ll be back tomorrow with an author interview and book giveaway. You won’t want to miss it!
:heart: 
I’m glad you’re going to visit her. She’s been fighting a long time. At least it won’t come as a huge shock when her time comes. When it’s unexpected, it’s always harder. But don’t grieve when you’re there. She is going to be so happy to see you and Angel Girl and you don’t want to put a damper on that. I remember when I saw Great Grandma for the last time. It was so hard not to cry as she kept repeating herself and talking about those dying around her in the home - especially since Grandpa was trying to hide his tears. The thought of him seeing his mother fall into that shape so quickly made my throat wrench. But I knew she wouldn’t want our last visit to be me crying, and it certainly wouldn’t help Grandpa. Just enjoy your visit. Our grandma is an amazing individual and she still has her humor and her wits about her.
We lost my Grandfather in a similar way. We were prepared for it, which made it easier and harder at the same time. It felt good to have been able to say goodbye, but it was wrenching at the same time. So sorry hun. ~Hugs~
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It’s never easy to say good-bye to a loved one, no matter what the circumstances. I have tried to be at peace with the fact that my grandparents knew that they really were done fighting illness and wanted to go in peace and happiness. It’s hard because you miss them so much. I totally understand how that is stressful and affects your daily life even though you try to push it to the side for a while. I am sure that you will both find a visit to be a healing experience for both of you. Take care of yourself and try to relax.
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I’m so sorry, Summer. Hang in there. Like you said, everything will be ok.
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Oh, that’s so hard to hear news like that. I’m so sorry for you and your family.
I lost my grandmother only a year or two after I was married. I was able to visit her for Thanksgiving, and she died only about 6 months after that. I was so thankful for the chance I had to visit with her again before she left the earth. And I was a royal mess of tears at her funeral. I still often cry when a memory comes out of nowhere and I remember her and feel sad that I couldn’t know her longer.
But truly, it was such an inspiration to see how she prepared herself for death. I can only hope I have her faith and strength when it’s my turn to go, too.
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Hang in there! Sending you hugs…. XOXO
Think of the happy times and let this visit be a time for one more. She sounds like a strong woman and you do get a chance to say good-bye. That’s a blessing. 10 years is a long battle to fight. May peace be with you and your family.
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Can’t think = can’t blog …. newborns do that to you, too :) !!
So sorry to hear about your grandma. (((HUGS)))
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Yes…I noticed you were gone! But I completely understand. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother. It’s so hard to let go of people we love, even when we know it’s for the best. There’s nothing like the love of a grandmother…I feel your pain. You’ll be in my thoughts!
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Oh, girl. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
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Oh, summer, I’m so very sorry. We lost my grandmother 2 years ago. We knew it was coming, but it still hurts like crazy.
It’s never easy to lose someone you love. Enjoy your time with her.
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Hugs and best wishes to you, Summer.
You’re in my thoughts and prayers.
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I’m really sorry about all the family stuff going on –the negative family stuff. And I’m sorry that your grandmother is dying; it’s hard to lose someone we love, even if we know it’s their time to go, you know? My grandfather had Dementia for years and slowly deteriorated so much that at the end, he didn’t know his wife or children; had cancer; and finally died in the hospital. I knew it was going to happen, but when it finally did? I bawled for hours. My mind was saying “What’s the big deal? You knew he was going to die, and you believe you’ll see him again one day, so what’s the problem?” but my heart was saying “I miss you, Grandpa.”
Good luck. And have a safe journey when you go.
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Sorry to hear about your grandma. We just went through this with mine, and she never got to see Esme before she died. Prayers said.
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Hugs and prayers. I can understand the need or desire to stop fighting. Spending your last days feeling nauseous and icky doesn’t appeal to me either. I can see both sides. I take comfort in heaven as well.
HUGZZZ!
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Sorry to hear about your heartache :( Losing anyone, whether or not it would be a comfort to them, is hard. I’m glad you will have a chance to visit with her and let her meet Angel Girl though.
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I’m so sorry for your grief. What a tribute to your grandmother to see how much she means to you.
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