Bundle of Emotions

I am not a person who does things half way. I either refuse to do that something at all or I put my energy and focus into it until I either finish it or get burned out.

I delved into something new recently and did everything I could to make it succeed. I’m not giving up yet but right now I’m very discouraged and feeling a little like a failure. When something or some idea doesn’t take hold the way you thought it would and in spite of all of your best efforts, it’s hard not to feel that way. Especially for someone like me who is always in fast forward mode. I’m trying to stay positive and remind myself that some things take more time than I’d like. But here I am, the mask of bitter indifference trying to settle over my mood due to the latest disappointment.

But not to worry! I may sound gloomy (and I am at the moment) but really, I’m having lots of successes in my life at this time too. My blog design business is still going well and I’m actually writing a story. I’ve written stories before but they’ve always been short. This one is going on 14,000 words within just four days of starting it and I am having to restrain myself from spending every minute of my day working on it. I imagined up two characters a few days ago and suddenly the plot centering around them just leapt into my head. I started it and I”ll be darned if I don’t finish it and get it published. Do I have any idea what I’ll need to do to get it ready for a publisher? Not at all, but somehow I’ll get there! I won’t let this one burn out.

So I’m enjoying the bitter and the sweet all at one time it seems and trying not to get too overwhelmed by either. Wish me luck!

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March 17th, 2009 in Self Worth

Comments (10)

MelissaMarch 17th, 2009 at 5:31 pm

It is hard to see something you’ve worked hard on not come out the way you had hoped. I’m glad you’re not giving up… maybe you’ve just hit a bump (bumps are sometimes more like mountains…) and it will be smooth sailing from here on out!

Good luck with your book! I started one last fall, but didn’t like where it was going. So I never finished it…

Melissas last blog post..

Mrs. OrganicMarch 17th, 2009 at 6:40 pm

Keep up the intensity, you’ll get it done.

Mrs. Organics last blog post..Chicken Caesar Pasta

gramma duckyMarch 17th, 2009 at 8:19 pm

Summer, relax a little, but keep at it. You’re amazing!!!

Carol VRMarch 17th, 2009 at 10:53 pm

You’ll have to let us know where we can buy the book.

Carol VRs last blog post..Laprechaun Invasion

kailaniMarch 17th, 2009 at 11:20 pm

Congratulations on the new book! I’m sure it will be a #1 best seller!

kailanis last blog post..Morning Sickness

An Ordinary MomMarch 18th, 2009 at 12:02 am

Congrats on all the writing you are doing … I hope you find an awesome publisher!

An Ordinary Moms last blog post..A Double Spring Giveaway - Clorox and Skintimate

Becky NewsonMarch 19th, 2009 at 3:07 pm

I’m sorry you’re disappointed and frustrated. Those can be hard emotions to overcome, especially when you expect a different outcome than you get! I wish I could snap my fingers and make it better for you. But I hope you at least know that I’m rooting for you, and believe in you.

Becky Newsons last blog post..Kids These Days

Person (also known as Mommy)March 20th, 2009 at 10:02 am

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

I certainly understand a thing or two about crazy emotions (having been pregnant forEVER now) and I know how frustrating it is when new projects don’t work out.

Hang in there :)

[By the way, your design is gorgeous!]

Person (also known as Mommy)s last blog post..Are You a Bob or a Jillian?

sarah maeMarch 20th, 2009 at 10:35 am

Good “luck!” Don’t give up, and don’t believe the lie that you are a failure!

Come visit me…I want you to take a look at my Core Lies series if you get a chance!

Nice to “meet” you! :)

Amy Jane (Untangling Tales)March 20th, 2009 at 11:22 am

Thanks for visiting Untangling!

I did NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) when I started my WIP (work-in-progress).

The goal of NaNoWriMo is to put down 50,000 words in 30-days, and even though that only works out to ~ 1667 words a day, I still felt like you and wanted to quit– almost at once (if you visit my Nov. 2006 archives you can read about that journey as I went along).

I have some “advice for beginning novelists” going up on my blog tomorrow if you want to come back, but the long and short of what I’d say to you this moment is “Ignore how you feel.”

Seriously.

Every artist doubts themselves. And every artist (in my opinion) should. What you need to think on is how much you love your story: would you still want to tell it if no one paid you?

Try putting down x-amount of words or paragraphs a day, or at least staying in the world thinking about it.

My first noveling effort before NaNo was about 14,000 words, and I was so impressed with myself (and that’s okay– it was a significant amount of work), but when I blow by that at ~ day-seven of November I got a huge wake-up call: This is a marathon, and can’t be expected to be like anything I’d done before.

Your first novel is always an education, and if you let go of it being perfect you’ll be able to enjoy it more.

(And, yeah, I actually say more in tomorrow’s post– so come on by :silly: )

–Amy Jane

Amy Jane (Untangling Tales)s last blog post..Welcome to the 2009 Blog Party!

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