Back to School - a rare picture post

I know I’ve mentioned how excited I’ve been for school to start up again. Well Count Dooku started Monday and it’s been great for both of us. He thrives in such a structured environment and I thrive on time not spent in a battle of wills. Don’t think me completely heartless though. Of course I love him and his moving into 1st grade is just another sign of his growing apart from me. Sometimes tangible reminders like the start of school force me to acknowledge the inevitable. Make me wistful for more time enjoyed with his youth still unspoiled. So this break from my son has already been good on that count.

Little Obi Wan starts kindergarten tomorrow. I’m a bit more apprehensive about his going. He told me with tears in his eyes on Monday that he would miss me. Such a sensitive sweetheart I never imagined calling son. He, too, seems reluctant to face the inevitable. Here is where the sorrow of separation becomes more keen as I encourage him to do what I myself do not want him to do. To grow up. To be brave and leave mommy behind each day. It’s amazing how different two children so close in age can be.

It will be so different with my two oldest children gone all day. Certainly there will be more time for many of the things I wish to accomplish, more time to relax, more time to miss my boys and think about why I love them so much. There will also be more time for their little sister left behind who is, herself, growing up far too fast.

August 26, 2008 | Filed Under Family, Motherhood | 16 Comments 

My Mother, My Friend

I was lucky to have such a good relationship with my mom as a kid. Of course we had our disagreements but overall things were good, are still good. I never had any reservations about telling her anything. About asking her anything. She knew how to maintain a proper balance between being my mother and being my friend. She believed in my abilities and let me know when I wasn’t living up to my potential. Sometimes I agreed with her. Sometimes I wished she’d stop expecting so much of me. But I always knew she was right, that becoming a better person was an active decision. And that even if I continued to be stubborn and slough off in my school work or other areas of my life, she would still love me. I knew she would always be there for me.

I remember the night my boyfriend left. I was 18 and he was my first love, the first boy I had ever kissed. I was certain I would marry him, but first he needed to serve a 2 year mission for our church. It wasn’t a requirement, it was his own decision and one I had encouraged him in. But that didn’t make his leaving any less painful.

As we stood out on the lawn that final night in a tight embrace whispering our 10th good-bye, my mother stood inside the door waiting. A final tight squeeze as the tears filled my eyes and we separated. He had to run to his car to avoid being drawn back toward me and I had to run to the door to avoid the same. He started his cars ignition and waved at me with tears in his eyes as he drove away. I waved too and then broke into a sob as I fumbled to open the screen door. I flung it open and then jammed the weight of my body against the main door to push it open. As it swung open I saw the shape of my mom standing there, her arms pulling me to her. I was already sobbing so hard my head hurt. She guided me down the stairs, helped me crawl into her bed and tucked me in. Then she lay on the covers beside me and stroked my hair until I fell asleep. She was completely silent in word but her actions meant everything. Whether my pain was over dramatic or not, she knew how keenly I felt it and she didn’t try to stop that. She let me grieve hard while assuring me with only her presence and I’m forever thankful for that.

I love you mom. Happy Birthday.

August 24, 2008 | Filed Under Family, Motherhood | 11 Comments 

Dinner at our house

Because I like to keep it real. *snicker* Or maybe I just like to embarrass myself.

Me: Yummy pizza honey. Thanks for making it

Boys: Thank you daddy!

*munch munch munch*

Hubby: BU-URP!

Me: *said with a slight smirk on my face - I thought you made a rule that there was no belching at the table.

Hubby: *with a twinkle in his eye - Oh yeah.

Count Dooku: I have to go potty!

Me: Alright already, go.

* Hubby teases me as I eat, mischevious grin forms on my face*

Me: BE-ELLLLCCCCHHH!

*Chorus of laughter rings out from Count Dooku in the bathroom and Obi Wan at the table

Count Dooku: Burp. Burp. Burp.

* Obi Wan laughing

Count Dooku: I just tooted!!

Me: Thank you for the play by play of your bowel movement son. Really.

*munch munch munch*

Obi Wan: Mama, you’re a chicken!

Me: Well you’re a chocolate cake!

Obi Wan: You’re a grass!

Me: You’re a Grape!

Obi Wan: You’re a ewephant!

Me: Well you’re a BE-LLCCCCHHHH!!!!

*Uncontainable laughter from both boys and one husband desperately trying to stifle it.

Count Dooku: More mom! More!!

Me: No, no, I’ve gotta stop. You’re father will never kiss me again if I don’t.

Some of our dinner times are more entertaining than others

August 9, 2008 | Filed Under Family, Humor | 13 Comments 

Home

Funny that I’m not sure I feel that we are home as I write this. We definitely live here but home feels very far away now.

If you haven’t guessed it, we flew back from our visit to Utah last night/this morning. I didn’t mention we were there while we were there because I’m a wee bit paranoid. You never know who would have spent all their time and energy finding out where I live so they could steal my super valuable Claires earring stash when I was gone, yeah?

The flight was a red eye. We left at 10:15 out of Vegas and flew 4 hours into Michigan. I slept 3 of those hours. Then we had a 2 hour layover and a 1 hour flight out to where we live. Did you know that 3 hours of sleep is not enough to be a very patient mother on? The slightest bit of whining was really setting me off. I got another hour in the car while Hubby drove us home and then, since I just can’t stand not doing otherwise, I unpacked and put away every single item within an hour of our getting home. A good nap was in order and I finally got one. Now I’m feeling more refreshed and slightly sad that we’re all alone again. It certainly has it’s perks and opportunities for growth, having no family around. But this visit, 3 years overdue, was a very good one and made me realize how much family means to me.

August 7, 2008 | Filed Under Family | 4 Comments 

Protected: Heartache

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August 4, 2008 | Filed Under Babies, Family | Enter your password to view comments 

One day in the Big Apple


Taken from the 102nd floor of the Empire State Building


“The city of right angles and tough, damaged people -Pete Hamill

Well, my mother and I must have been there on a good day because we didn’t run into people any meaner than I was already use to in this trashy city o’ mine, which shall remain nameless. :)

So, some of you may have noticed I’ve been rather sporadic in my commenting of late and it’s because I’m still adjusting to life without my wonderful momma. She flew out and stayed with us for a week and oh, was it wonderful! I miss her terribly and I long for the interactions my children don’t get to have with their extended family members. So a visit is always a wonderful thing.

Yes, a visit from my mom means a date night or two with my husband. It means running to the store for something I forgot without having to drag all three kids out too. It means late nights spent playing Boggle, Cribbage, Rummikub and Take Two. And this year it meant taking a day trip to New York City, just me and her. I’ve lived within doable driving distance for 6 years and finally I made it, with my mom who had never been there before either.


Riding the Ferry out to Liberty Island. (Gosh I hope I look as good as my mom does when I’m 50)


At Ground Zero

This is Trinity Church, which was not a stop on our agenda but we happened to walk by it and it sucked me in. Some of you know I am an avid genealogist and am obsessed with love old church’s and cemeteries. This church and cemetery is smack dab in the middle of the city yet it seemed so tranquil there. I was in heaven looking at the ancient headstones (ca. 1700’s) and the architecture inside and out is breathtaking.


Here we are after hiring a bicycle taxi which I highly recommend, as they can veer in and out of traffic and if you love feeling a, gentler than a car with the top down, wind in your face. We had a blast on our short little ride.


Just a small portion of Times Square, from the seat of our bicycle taxi.

We had a great time with gramma around and a fantastic day in New York City!

May 19, 2008 | Filed Under Family, Photos, Random | 17 Comments 

Why?

To love someone deeply, is to risk heart ache of the deepest kind. Their hurts are yours.

I keep asking myself, why this person I love is still making such foolish decisions at this stage in their life. Why don’t they realize what destructive behavior they’re exhibiting? Why don’t they realize that their actions affect not only themselves, but those who care about them? Why is it so hard for this person to let go of these habits that have now landed them in jail?

I wanted to cry as I read the arrest detail, but no tears came. Only sorrow for poor decisions and some hope that maybe the first time in jail, will be impressionable enough to make it the last time.

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April 2, 2008 | Filed Under Family | 16 Comments 

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