A lesson in whining

So I whined yesterday and I may have even felt slightly justified in doing so. But then after posting, of course, I came across multiple blog posts about things they were grateful for in their lives. And I felt immediately sheepish. Sure, it’s ok sometimes to whine and we all have our crummy days/weeks/months but maybe I wouldn’t have cause to whine in the first place if I focused on what was great in my life instead of what was blah. That simple thought changed the entire rest of my day. Sure I still felt mopey and down and tired but I didn’t have to act it. I didn’t have to be grumpy even when I wanted to. Why is it that so often I am so strongly swayed by my emotions I don’t even realize I have a choice.

In any case, I got thinking about things I am grateful for and I’m not going to pour out a whole list here but I would like to tell you the first thing that came to mind. I don’t know why or where it came from because I hadn’t ever really thought about it like that before but here it is:

About 8 years ago I went on a Mormon pioneer trek. It’s something us Mormons do on occasion in memory of those of our faith who had to cross a vast part of the U.S. to get away from religious persecution. Our trek reenactment was 3 days long. I was an 18 year old girl at the time. In fact, the majority of the participants were young and single. Only one young man had captured my attention though. I spent most of the trek trying to arrange ways to be near him, to talk to him but I wasn’t sure if he noticed or cared. I was also struggling at that time with a severe episode of obsessive compulsive disorder. Alas that I didn’t know exactly what it was at that time, then I wouldn’t have spent so much futile time trying to beat it out of my head. The OCD is always present, but it hits me in waves depending on a number of different factors I won’t go into right now. Suffice it to say I spent most of the trip trying to fight it off with little success. By the second night I felt worse than ever, convinced I was an ugly person inside that no one could ever really like.

I was sitting alone on a log by the campfire that night and once again my thoughts drifted to this young man I was interested in. We had talked a bit but I wasn’t sure how he felt. I was feeling more alone than ever and I imagined him coming and sitting by me just to talk. You can imagine my surprise when a moment later I felt the log wobble a bit and knew someone was sitting down beside me. I was shocked to look up and see that my daydream had come true. He had seen me alone and came over just to talk to me. I married him 4 months later.

It’s amazing to me how I felt more immense gratitude yesterday thinking of this event than I did then. Yes, a silly little daydream came true and I was to twitter-pated to think of much else then but now I realize what a lifesaver he was in that moment. That simple gesture gave me hope that I was a good person and kept me going through the storm I was in. I’m so grateful he wasn’t worrying about whether or not people would make assumptions about us or whether or not he would scare me away. All he knew was that I looked kind of sad. It inspires me to set aside my worries involving myself and do the nice thing. Smile at someone even when I don’t feel like smiling. Compliment a stranger on her clothes or hair. Take someone some cookies just because. Stop assuming they’ll think I’m weird or that someone else will do the nice thing. You never know just how much they may need it.

August 20, 2008 | Filed Under Gratitude, LDS, Mental Health | 11 Comments 

My sister must really like me!

Isn’t it wonderful when someone does something absolutely unexpected and nice? My sister did such a thing while I was out in Utah. If you’ve read my blog long you know I’ve been an avid Nintendo gamer for a long time. I remember watching some teenage boys demo Mario Brothers in a store when I was 7 years old. They were debating amongst themselves about whether or not Mario would die if he jumped in the water. I smugly told them he would. I thought I was hot stuff, knowing more than those teenagers. Anyhow, I’ve been very happy with my SNES for a number of years now, but I couldn’t help but greatly desire a Wii. With a Wii I could play all the new games and download the classics. But it has not been within the budget. I think I moaned to my sister once, a long time ago with absolutely no thought that she might want to do something about it. She announced to me one day a few weeks ago that, armed with her employee discount she had purchased a Wii just for me and that I could make small payments to her for it!! Happy happy joy joy!!

So we brought the little beauty home with us on the airplane and have been enjoying it ever since. Everybody usually has something fun they like to do for down time. Gaming is definitely one of mine.

What do you like to do for down time?

August 14, 2008 | Filed Under Gratitude, News | 25 Comments 

Welcome Spring!


I took a walk Saturday with my camera in hand.


Spring has just arrived.


I’d never seen a Magnolia tree till we moved out here.


Now Magnolia’s are my favorite things about spring time.


They’re more than just blossoms. The full out flowers and they’re big.


I only wish spring lasted longer.

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April 7, 2008 | Filed Under Gratitude, Photos | 18 Comments 

One more thing to be thankful for

Last night was the third night in a row that Angel girl slept for 8 hours straight!
Please let this be permanent!

Oh, and don’t forget that Deck the Blogs starts today! I should have my new design up and running soon and can’t wait to see all of yours.

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November 23, 2007 | Filed Under Babies, Gratitude | 7 Comments 

Gratitude for the simplest of things

Last night, shortly before bed, Obi-Wan was enjoying a bowl of popcorn with his Hi-5 DVD when suddenly we heard:

Obi-Wan: “AAAAGGHHHH!”
Hubby: “What is it buddy?”
Obi-Wan: “My teefs! Paw-corn’s stuck!”
Hubby: “Show me where.”

Obi-Wan pointed to the offending popcorn kernel stuck between two of his “teef” and hyperventilated while daddy went to grab a tooth pick to get it out.

Hubby: “Say Aaahhh.”
Obi-Wan: “Aaaaaahhhhhh!”
Hubby: “There, I got it.”
Obi-Wan: (After licking his teeth and smacking his lips a couple of times) “Yeah, you dot it!”
Hubby: “Give me a hug buddy.”
Obi-Wan: “Fanks for sabing me daddy!” (now looking at me) “Daddy sabed me!”

And with a satisfied smile he went merrily on his way, leaving Hubby and I to giggle over the daring rescue that had saved our son.

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I am thankful every day for a multitude of things, but on different days different blessings are in the forefront of my mind. Today, I am so thankful for laughter and for the children who make me laugh every single day. I love them more than…well, if you’re a parent you know that my love for them cannot be described. But it is there and feeling love like that brings the greatest joy I’ve ever known.

And because I wouldn’t want Hubby to feel left out I guess I should say I’m thankful for him too.
:)

In all seriousness, I can’t imagine a better husband, better marriage, better father, better counterpart. I know not everyone has found someone like that. I am truly thankful I have.

Whether you’re thousand of miles from family and alone (like us) or surrounded by numerous loved ones, I hope today is a wonderful Thanksgiving Day for you.

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November 22, 2007 | Filed Under Gratitude, Humor, Kids | 7 Comments 

Let’s Say Thanks

Camille brought this project to my attention today over on her blog and I wanted to spread the word. Xerox is offering an easy way to tell our troops how thankful we are for their service. All you have to do is visit Let’s Say Thanks , select one of the sweet postcards that a child has drawn, pick a pre-written message or write your own and hit submit.

I know at this time of Thanksgiving, and all year round I am so thankful for the men and women who have given their service to keep our country free. So stop by and send or note or ten. You can send as many as you like.

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November 16, 2007 | Filed Under Gratitude | 5 Comments 

A look into the past

I discovered the value of journal writing as a teenager. It felt so freeing to be able to scribble raw emotion onto the pages within. But besides a stress release, and a way to reason through my feelings, these writings have proven invaluable to me as I’ve looked back through them. Experiences and feelings I had forgotten, have provided the knowledge that, I survived those struggles once, which gives me hope that I can do it again.
Some of my entries also provide me a good laugh. Some of the things that seemed so important in my life then seem so trivial and silly now. But I realize though I have changed quite a bit since then, my core values are still the same. I have found that, who I became in my teenage years is who I have mostly remained and that the older I get, the harder it is to change. I read this particular entry the other day:

Feb. 22, 1998 (Age 16)
QUALITIES I WANT IN A FUTURE HUSBAND
Respectful
Understanding
Intelligent
Confident- But not cocky
Not too romantic
Athletic
Friendly - not a hermit
Church Member
Spiritual
Worthy Priesthood Holder
Hard working
Sense of humor
Can handle my belching talent - *you don’t wanna know
Uses clean language
Thoughtful, kind & helpful to others
Treats his mom really well
College graduate
Has patience
Likes kids & works well with them
Sensitive yet manly at the same time (LOL)
Has a testimony
Will cuddle me and give me hugs
Is not judgemental
Smiles a lot
Takes care of himself physically
Is my best guy friend
Strong- physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally

At first skim I thought, “Oh, is that all I expected?”
I laughed because it was lengthy and some of my requirements were a little silly. I also laughed because I knew exactly what I wanted then, and you know what, I didn’t end up settling for anything less. (Well except appreciating the belching thing, but I think he’s just jealous that I can out belch him).

So, did you ever make a list of qualities you wanted in your future spouse? Did you find that guy?

What about journal writing? Has it been helpful to you to look back?
I’ll admit I’m not in the habit anymore, but I think I need to make it a priority again. Maybe one of these days we could have a journal entry carnival. Where everyone posts one or a couple of their favorite journal entries from their teenage years. What do you think?

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September 7, 2007 | Filed Under Gratitude | 4 Comments 

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