One more week

How hard is it to entertain three demanding children? Very. Am I exaggerating when I call all of them demanding? I only wish I were.

Count Dooku is often a thoughtful, well mannered, very intelligent 6 year old. He’s also often tenacious, bored with whatever he’s doing within 2 minutes, and so stubborn that I cave half the time to his constant pushing and prodding.

Obi Wan is often a snuggly, loving, sweet little 5 year old. He’s also often whiny, clingy and when he fights with his brother, he fights dirty.

Angel girl is often a smiley, babbling, adorable little 1 year old. She’s also often dramatic, easily upset and ear splittingly loud when angry or sad.

They’re all a mix of the enjoyable and the not so enjoyable. But of course I love them all wholeheartedly. I am not ashamed to admit however, that I am happy, nay, THRILLED that school starts on Monday. That means 7 hours with just one demanding child instead of 3 and one momma who appreciates her kids even more when she’s forgotten how frustrating they can be missed them all day long.

August 18, 2008 | Filed Under Kids | 11 Comments 

How NOT to shop

1. Don’t forget to get a special cart meant to hold three children. You’ll need them tightly strapped in when you go looking for that new shirt. Otherwise you’ll find yourself scared half out of your wits by a head or two popping out through the clothing rack. Maniacal boyish laughter will ensue and you’ll try to track it from clothes rack to clothes rack.

2. Be prepared for an onslaught of “Please!” “Just one!” “Mom!” “But Mo-ooooooom!” “Only jus’ one okay?” “I’ll eat all my dinner!” “Hmph!” “You’re so mean!” and the like.

3. It is imperative that you remember, that the baby is getting bigger, her arms are getting longer, and therefore she can reach for things. That mangled and slobbered on deck of Old Fish cards that mysteriously presented itself at the bottom of the cart at check out time? All her doing.

4. It is also imperative that you remember your 6 year old is getting old enough to be very sneaky. Case in point - the transformers toy he shiftily grabbed out of the cart and stuck on the belt very first, hoping you wouldn’t notice.

5. Ack! What in the?!? Who put 7 snickers bars in here? The 5 year old was just following suit I suppose.

The moral of the story is - All of this could have been avoided by simply NOT shopping with the children. When will I ever learn?

July 23, 2008 | Filed Under Humor, Kids | 21 Comments 

I couldn’t make this stuff up!

Really. I’ve got a decent imagination but not one this good. The types of events I imagined when I thought of interacting with my own children before I had them, don’t come close to most of the events that have actually happened since they’ve arrived. My day dreams never involved such vast amounts of urine. In fact, they never involved urine at all. But now that I’ve got two boys, that’s a lot of what our interactions are about. Questions like, “Who sprinkled on the floor?” and “Who forgot to flush the toilet?” are asked frequently. I pretty much clean pee off the toilet and floor every day, once even off the top of the toilet, but yesterdays urine happening tops them all. Oh yes, are you ready for this?

Hubby, Count Dooku and Obi Wan were playing a game of Go Fish while I was busy getting Angel girl ready for her afternoon nap. After she drank her milk I laid her down in her crib and went into the kitchen to load the dishes. I could hear her softly whining and knew she was almost asleep. That ’s when Count Dooku leapt up announcing that he had to poop (yeah we’re working on getting him to stop announcing these things). No sooner had he entered the hall bathroom than Obi Wan leapt up announcing that he had to pee. I told him he would have to wait until his brother was finished. We have a bathroom in our bedroom but going in there when Angel girl is still awake and then leaving will throw her into a frenzy.

Obi Wan walked into the hallway and in a matter of seconds I heard his voice saying, “Mommy, I have to pee bad!” I recognized the urgency and knew I had to do something. I ran into the bathroom to find Count Dooku sitting on the toilet and Obi Wan with his pants around his ankles, holding himself and dancing. Thinking fast I told Count Dooku to scoot up just a bit so Obi Wan could pee into the toilet behind him. But I was too late. Obi Wan simply couldn’t hold it anymore. Suddenly pee was spraying in three different directions through Obi Wans fingers as he was still trying to “hold” it in. He was peeing on Count Dookus bottom, the floor and the counter top simultaneously.

Count Dooku jumped up screaming, I was screaming and shielding my face from the spray and pushing Obi Wan toward the toilet. None to soon he finished but barely any of it got in the toilet. I just stood stunned for a moment as I looked at my two bare bottomed boys. Both with pants around their ankles. Both soaked in urine. I moaned a bit as I took a sloshing step backward, but then I started laughing out loud as everything replayed in my head and the boys joined in. It was the strangest family bonding moment we’ve ever had. Boys!

July 5, 2008 | Filed Under Humor, Kids | 17 Comments 

Mama needed a break

I try to be a patient loving mommy. Sometimes it’s hard. Even with my sweet little baby girl. She’s been so sick the past couple of days and today she was more needy than ever. Most of my day was spent trying to console her as she whimpered. Some of my day was spent trying to keep patient with her as she threw numerous screaming and body flailing tantrums if I put her on the floor, or in her high chair or did anything she didn’t like. But at one point it was too much and I set her down and just let her scream and cry, all by her little self.

I hate feeling helpless, knowing my child is hurting but not being able to do anything about it. Knowing they’re hurting and still feeling so frustrated with their grumpy behavior. I needed a break, so I left the kids with hubby and I drove. I went to the grocery store and grabbed a newspaper, I went to the craft store just to browse. Then I went to Barnes & Noble, and ordered my favorite treat, a warm Granny Smith Apple Purse drizzled in caramel. I ate slowly while I read a lame celebrity magazine.

I needed the break. I came home and stroked my sleeping babies cheek, wishing now that I could wake her and hold her for as long as she wanted. Getting away is ok, even necessary at times to being a mama more appreciative of her little ones.

June 21, 2008 | Filed Under Babies, Kids, Motherhood | 14 Comments 

Scared for my Daughter

I’ve been watching, So You Think You Can Dance, this season. I think the way people can move their bodies is amazing. However, last week during the results show they had a performance from an evidently well known musical group, the Pussy Cat Dolls.

Just upon hearing that name, I knew I would be disgusted with them but disgust doesn’t adequately describe my opinion of that raunchy group of women.

So many women, liberated by the feminist rights movement, have chosen to become sex objects, figuring that the fact that they could choose it, makes it ok. It’s sick, it’s frustrating and I am so afraid my daughter will adopt role models like that. Blatant sexualization of women is everywhere, and even mothers seem to be encouraging it. Do you think the skanky high selling Bratz dolls would still be on the market if mothers weren’t buying them?

What about the example they see every day? When your daughter sees you looking in the mirror does she hear comments about your weight, your figure, your boobs? They learn from the earliest days that appearance is what matters. Even I am guilty of it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to be clean and presentable and to keep our bodies healthy but somehow we’ve got to get the message through to our girls, that being fit or skinny or pretty, while fine, is not where true value lies.

Recipe For A Beautiful Woman

Kindness in the eyes
Modesty of tongue
An empathetic heart
A smile for everyone
These small but beautiful things you do
Will radiate in your appearance too

By Summer Owens

June 18, 2008 | Filed Under Kids, Modesty, Writing | 14 Comments 

Graduation Congregational

Count Dooku’s final day of kindergarten was last Wednesday. We received a note several days prior stating there would be a kindergarten program that day. I was hoping this wouldn’t end up being a “graduation” ceremony because I think like Mr. Incredible in that respect.

Bob Parr: It’s not a graduation. He’s moving from the 4th grade to the 5th grade.
Helen Parr: It’s a ceremony.
Bob Parr: It’s psychotic!

I think the graduation ceremony should be something really special, saved only for seniors, for the kids to look forward to all through school. Anyway, I arrived at the school at 9:15 and went into the auditorium to find seating was already very limited, but I managed to squeeze in to the middle of a row. The children came up on stage as the crowd clapped and proceeded to sing eight different little songs in English and Spanish. After that, the school principle got up to make some closing remarks. Here is where Count Dooku’s kindergarten program, became a cultural experience for this little white girl from the midwest.

Principle: We are gathered here today, to celebrate these glorious little children, in their kindergarten graduations
Some of the crowd:Mm Hmm.
Principle:And to commend them (pause)
Some of the crowd: Mm Hmm.
Principle: For their efforts, at school this year.

The Principle’s voice seemed to increase in volume right before a pause, after which would immediately follow a chorus of satisfied Mmm Hmmm’s. But the best was yet to come.

Principle: You children, you are graduating from Kindergarten today. But are you going to settle, for just a Kindergarten education? No!
Crowd: Mmmm Hmmmmmm.
Principle: Someday you’ll graduate from sixth grade, but are you going to settle for just a sixth grade education? No!
Crowd: Mmmm Hmmm.
Principle: Someday, you’ll be graduating from High School. (Dramatic Pause) But are you going to settle for a High School Education?!?
Crowd: Mmm mmmmm. (some shouts of No way!)
Principle: You’re going to go on to college! And someday, you’re going to graduate from college. But are you going to settle for a college education?
Crowd: NO!
Principle: That’s right. After college, you’re going to go to graduate school! Yes, moms and dads, we have DOCTORS! and LAWYERs! and SCIENTISTS! and TEACHERS! and FORTUNE 500! BUSINESS! OWNERS! ON!THIS! STAGE!

The crowd simultaneously leapt to their feet, erupting in deafening cheers and clapping. It was absolutely the most contagious enthusiasm I have ever experienced and I found myself clapping and smiling as I watched those children on stage absolutely beaming from this wild attention and encouragement. I shook my head in wonder as I thought of the amazing cultural differences that exist in different parts of America, without which life is not nearly as interesting. I’d have to say that was the most exciting school program I’ve ever been too, and Count Dooku and I both loved it.

June 16, 2008 | Filed Under Humor, Kids | 15 Comments 

School’s out

That means Count Dooku is home for a while. That means I need to get a little more creative in what we do every day, because Count Dooku is a rather high maintenance kid. He likes to be entertained, by everyone but himself most of the time. I also know that you all have some great ideas because, hey, my comments have pretty much died within the last three days so you must be off doing something fun with your kids. What is it?

We’ll be heading to the pool whenever Angel Girl is better. She’s had a fever the last three days and her body is covered in red spots. They’re not bumps, just spots and they don’t seem to me like chicken pocks but I have to wonder because Hubby had the Shingle’s last week. Luckily he only had them on his inner thigh (weird huh) but they were still very painful. Anyway, if they’re not pocks then what is going on with her? Any ideas?

June 12, 2008 | Filed Under Kids | 9 Comments 

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