A lesson in whining

So I whined yesterday and I may have even felt slightly justified in doing so. But then after posting, of course, I came across multiple blog posts about things they were grateful for in their lives. And I felt immediately sheepish. Sure, it’s ok sometimes to whine and we all have our crummy days/weeks/months but maybe I wouldn’t have cause to whine in the first place if I focused on what was great in my life instead of what was blah. That simple thought changed the entire rest of my day. Sure I still felt mopey and down and tired but I didn’t have to act it. I didn’t have to be grumpy even when I wanted to. Why is it that so often I am so strongly swayed by my emotions I don’t even realize I have a choice.

In any case, I got thinking about things I am grateful for and I’m not going to pour out a whole list here but I would like to tell you the first thing that came to mind. I don’t know why or where it came from because I hadn’t ever really thought about it like that before but here it is:

About 8 years ago I went on a Mormon pioneer trek. It’s something us Mormons do on occasion in memory of those of our faith who had to cross a vast part of the U.S. to get away from religious persecution. Our trek reenactment was 3 days long. I was an 18 year old girl at the time. In fact, the majority of the participants were young and single. Only one young man had captured my attention though. I spent most of the trek trying to arrange ways to be near him, to talk to him but I wasn’t sure if he noticed or cared. I was also struggling at that time with a severe episode of obsessive compulsive disorder. Alas that I didn’t know exactly what it was at that time, then I wouldn’t have spent so much futile time trying to beat it out of my head. The OCD is always present, but it hits me in waves depending on a number of different factors I won’t go into right now. Suffice it to say I spent most of the trip trying to fight it off with little success. By the second night I felt worse than ever, convinced I was an ugly person inside that no one could ever really like.

I was sitting alone on a log by the campfire that night and once again my thoughts drifted to this young man I was interested in. We had talked a bit but I wasn’t sure how he felt. I was feeling more alone than ever and I imagined him coming and sitting by me just to talk. You can imagine my surprise when a moment later I felt the log wobble a bit and knew someone was sitting down beside me. I was shocked to look up and see that my daydream had come true. He had seen me alone and came over just to talk to me. I married him 4 months later.

It’s amazing to me how I felt more immense gratitude yesterday thinking of this event than I did then. Yes, a silly little daydream came true and I was to twitter-pated to think of much else then but now I realize what a lifesaver he was in that moment. That simple gesture gave me hope that I was a good person and kept me going through the storm I was in. I’m so grateful he wasn’t worrying about whether or not people would make assumptions about us or whether or not he would scare me away. All he knew was that I looked kind of sad. It inspires me to set aside my worries involving myself and do the nice thing. Smile at someone even when I don’t feel like smiling. Compliment a stranger on her clothes or hair. Take someone some cookies just because. Stop assuming they’ll think I’m weird or that someone else will do the nice thing. You never know just how much they may need it.

Cleavage? No thanks!

So I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a week or so, hoping that in so doing I would not offend any of my readers.

I’ll start by saying that I was raised in a church where modesty is heavily emphasized. Members of our church are counselled not to wear tank tops, revealing shirts that have low cut neck lines or that are very tight, short shorts, mini skirts - you get the picture. I follow this counsel always, though sometimes it would be dang nice to wear a tank top in the summer.

Anyway, the only time I wear anything revealing is when I’m in a swim suit. Mine is officially a two piece but it looks like a one piece because it has a long top and a skirted bottom, so no midriff showing (no one would want to see the belly jelly anyway), but I’m still slightly uncomfortable in it because it offers no support up top (what swimsuit does) and that make for the tiniest bit of cleavage.

So our family was all dressed for swimming one day last week and we took the elevator in our complex down to the main floor. I was right in front of the door and as it opened I saw a middle aged man standing there. Our eyes met for just a split second but then it was like a magnet, and his eyes were staring right at my chest.

I have never felt more uncomfortable or exposed in my life. I know it’s an automatic draw for dudes and I’m sure or at least I hope it was unintentional. But man, I’ve never had that happen before and I hope it never happens again. I’m very glad I don’t wear anything on a normal basis that reveals even a little bit of cleavage. I won’t think ill of you if you do, but for reasons just like the example above I’m very glad I’ve been raised to be very modest.

What about you, have you ever had a man look at you in a way that made you uncomfortable? Male readers, any input on anything I’ve said?

He’s with his wife now

I just learned that President Gordon B. Hinckley passed away during the night. Gordon B. Hinckley was the leader of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints also known as the Mormon Church. But for those of us who are members, he was more than a leader. He was a Prophet of God.

He has been the Prophet since I was a young teenager and his teachings have been a great influence for good in my life.

Yes, another Prophet will be called to preside over the church, for God being the same now as he was in biblical times has always called Prophets to preach his gospel and lead his church.

Even so, he will certainly be missed.


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Summer Owens

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